Tell Your Friend Veronica

February 5, 2010

Dear readers,

So. I am sort of fascinated by Jewishness right now. It started a couple days ago when “The Hannukah Song” got stuck in my head.

Put on your yarmulke,
It’s time for Hannukah.
It’s so much fun-nukah,
To celebrate Hannukah.

And thus, Judith Allen was born. 

Today, we fooled around in Physics during a lab with Judith and Hitler and really cute carts that I wanted to steal. They were so cute. We always have the coolest toys in Physics. If only they weren’t for labs.

After school my dad took us to Jack in the Box (which I imagine no one goes to) and it was all Art Deco-y inside with pictures of the Beatles and Humphrey Bogart and Frank Sinatra. It would have been so pretty with better lighting. HA. Contemporary media is infiltrating my brain, DOOD.

Why am I so hyper.

Anyway. We went because of the jumbo meal deal. So now you know what junk I stuff into my system. And now I don’t even have Dance class to work it off. I miss dance. It was ridiculous.

My dad’s always taking us to whatever place has a deal. I remember when we ate Arby’s for like a month because of their coupons. Whatevs. I like curly fries.

Love,
Katherine

P.S. Judith Allen looks like God and Moses combined.

P.P.S. I want a pie pop. It’s a lollipop but it’s A PIE TOO. KABLAAAAAAAAAAMM head explosion.

P.P.P.S. There’s an “Alice in Wonderland” sweepstake going on and I am entering my name the maximum number every day. Until March 5.

Tete Contre Tete Tu M’As Vaincu Juste A Temps

February 3, 2010

Dear readers,

The best surprise is when I discover invisible or hidden pockets in my clothing. The pockets of my flower-print skirt went unnoticed by me for nearly a month.

Today my APUSH teacher decided to talk to us about stress. She shared some deeply personal experiences, which I really appreciated. It’s nice when teachers step off the teacher pedestal and act human. But not everyone took her seriously. Oftentimes our emotions seem silly to others or in retrospect. Still, I think we should have all respected her efforts and her courage in sharing that with us.

Speaking of silly emotions, I feel like I’m shedding my old skin. It’s not just my new purple jacket (which helps, of course ) but I feel more comfortable with myself now.

 Love,
Katherine

P.S. I am wondering if I should see “Avatar”, even though my interest is nothing more than a slight curiosity in the effects.

P.P.S. Craving: a “21 Jump Street” marathon.
Digesting: Oreo cookies
Smelling: A mysterious puke odor in the office

Nous N’avons Trop Rien A Risquer

February 1, 2010

Dear readers,

Today I bought a tutu.

Did you know that tutu is derived from French slang, cucu (no idea how cucu becomes tutu but whatever), which means butt. Because the ruffles of tutus resembles the cellulite “ruffles” of a baby’s butt.

Well, goodnight.

Love,
Katherine

C’est Plus Facile de Rever

January 30, 2010

Dear readers,

The new Forever 21 opened at the mall so my friends and I made plans to go shopping. Some girls said they wanted to cry when they saw the inside. It’s pretty and a little overwhelming at first, but not worthy of tears. Shopping with friends was never so productive as it was yesterday, so I am happy.  There was a display with an old sewing machine. Forget the clothes. Can I just have the machine, please?

We also went to an ice cream/drinks shop and were pleasantly surprised by how nice the owners were and how generous the scoops were. There were old games on the tables and they brought out free popcorn.

Minaal has the most precious treasure in her locker. An old box set of Laura Ingalls Wilder books, aged just so. I will steal it, I will. Our Laura Ingalls Wilder book club is springing to life. Rather, limping. We must all read Little House in the Big Woods by the end of February. This makes me as happy as Almanzo when his mother made stacked pancakes on Sunday.

P.S. “Emma” is finally on PBS (the version I couldn’t shut up about over winter break) but sadly I do not have a television. Will someone lend me their couch and television every week to watch it? I’ll be your best friend forever.

P.P.S. Whoever gets this is a lucky butt indeed.

P.P.S. Reading: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, whichever Laura Ingalls Wilder book is lying around.
Digesting: toast with jam, eggs, and Honey Bunches of Oats
Feeling: Squeaky clean from my shower. My hair smells like shampoo
Anticipating: “Alice in Wonderland” at the El Capitan, but for now my friend Tiffany’s birthday party.
Wanting: the red jacket and pink tutu I tried on yesterday, even though it is a tutu and when would I wear it except on Saturdays to prance about in my house?

As Yummy as the Crow Pie the Ingalls Baked for Mary

January 30, 2009

Dear readers,

The Mast Brothers chocolate factory looks so wonderfully old-fashioned.

Having a Pa Ingalls beard doesn’t hurt. I can’t believe so much hair can come out of someone’s chin.

Handwrapped? Yay!

Now I’m craving chocolate. Off on a chocolate hunt, be back later.

Love,
Katherine

P.S. For more pictures

Et Si Ca Fait Mal C’est Parce Qu’il Comprend Pas

January 28, 2010

Dear reader,

I’m all set for awesomeness. Fresh-baked cookies, a couple of good books, and a pretty lamp can do this for you. I just borrowed Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Extremely Loud and Incredibly close from the library today, both very entertaining books. While Douglas Adams makes me laugh out loud, Jonathan Safran Foer makes me go, “Oh, why didn’t I think of that?” Maybe a favorite author? I’m still a bit unsure.

My phone made its way to a concentration camp today. I thought I had lost it but it had just miraculously transported to a model of Auschwitz. What does this mean? Is my phone Jewish? Should I be making preparations for its Bar Mitzvah?

After school Sanaa and I walked as fast as we could to Taco Bell and back. I ate my tacos in the paper bag as I walked, secretly telling myself that this was just like having a beer in a paper bag. There was also a giant puddle, but no man appeared to lay his coat over it. I am sorely disappointed.

I’m tired. Maybe I’ll wake up early and now.

Then I’ll study and make my Laura Ingalls Wilder simile arsenal. For those moments when a simple adjective won’t do it.

Love, Katherine

Emmenez-Moi Au Pays Des Merveilles

January 27, 2010

Dear readers,

I studied last night like I have never studied before. Part of me wishes I had been stupid in elementary school so I could have learned some study skills instead of breezing through. I am quite serious when I say last night was the closest to actual studying I have ever done in my life. I sat at my desk, studying math no less, from six to twelve, slept for three hours, studied until six, and then slept for half an hour until it was time to go to school. I sustained on four cookies. And now I am feeling quite chipper. Chipper enough to use the word chipper.

This studying thing is not so bad. Perhaps I shall continue it.

After comps my dad took my sister and I to McDonald’s for lunch. Suspicious men kept traversing through the place! I spotted three suspicious old men and one grumpy Chinese old man who is probationarily suspicious because he kept staring at me. But that may have been because I was sitting in his line of sight and Shannon was laughing so hard she looked like she was having a seizure. Suspicious-People-watching continued when we went to pick Jocelyn up from school. There was a lady who had Mrs. Lovett/Aunty Pittypat hair. And I determined that I will take the Asian Mother Visor a step further and wear a beekeeper’s hat to protect my complexion when I pick up my future children from school.

Love,
Katherine

P.S. I would like summer, please.

But What Are You Doing at the Folies Bergere?

January 25, 2010

Dear readers,

I’m loving:

1. Gossiping about The Little House on the Prairie. Because Nellie Oleson’s like, “I’m from New York,” and Laura’s like, “Psh. Whatevs.” And Pa is like, “I’m from New York too. What now?!” And Almanzo’s like, “May I see you home?” Also, there is a very likely chance that Almanzo is a Mexican*. And what is with Jack the bulldog? He was a good and faithful dog. Every time someone mentions Jack He was a good and faithful dog someone says, “He was a good and faithful dog.” I think I will name my future cat Almanzo. Or bunny. Depending. Or I could just name my car Almanzo. Or Jack. He was a good and faithful dog.

2. Jam. Yuuuuuuum. And it’s so pretty too.

3. Seeing posters of “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” on tumblr with captions like, “I want to see this so badly!” and smirking to myself because I have seen it already.

4. “Fargo” accents. I watched “New in Town” the other day and now I can’t stop using the accent. Also, did you know that Almanzo’s family lives in Minnesooohhhhta. And so did the Ingalls at some point.

5. “Alice in Wonderland” – we have tickets! VIP at the El Capitan And because the tea party tickets are ridiculous, we will have our own ghetto tea party in the car beforehand.

And now, to study.

Love,
Katherine

P.S. *Well of course I know he’s not. But it’s fun to pretend, isn’t it?

P.P.S. Laura has a bit of an inferiority complex sometimes, especially regarding Nellie Oleson, and she is also tres clueless as to why Almanzo keeps seeing her home.

P.P.P.S. We’re watching “Gone With the Wind”. DR. FRANK APPEARS AGAIN. I have to give the movie more credit than I did before – but I still can’t stand Scarlett sometimes.

They Will Wet Themselves With Blood

January 24, 2010

Dear readers,

Yesterday, in the classroom I was confined to for five hours, there were PSA posters all over the walls. I’m not entirely sure what subject is taught in that room, but the posters were hilarious. I thought the ones in the math rooms at Whitney were bad, but these take the cake. There was one with a pregnant girl in an oversized shirt and it said: “Will your child learn to multiply before she learns to subtract?” Another one had a cute Asian baby on it and it read: “I love you. I look up to you. DON’T DRINK.” Then I saw one that was had a guy and a girl from the 60s, and the guy was saying, “Mind if I smoke? (CARE IF I DIE?!?!)” There was also one that had a really mangled guy on it and it said, “Not all drunk drivers die.” And then there another with an old ugly man on it and it said, “Smoking isn’t glamorous.”

If anything, they kept me going during the test.

Finals are this week. Uber stress! Also, uber appetite! And yet this is the week my body decides to become hyperactive and tell me to dance around the house singing “Les Miserables” or whatever other madness latches itself to my brain.

Love,
Katherine

P.S. Jocelyn and I are bonding over chick flicks and Laura Ingalls Wilder. KABLAM. More on this later.

P.P.S. I just made a really ghetto envelope for Sanaa’s letter. I am proud of myself.

P.P.P.S. WHAT. It is the 24th?! I have been labeling everything January 25 and feeling proud about knowing the date.

P.P.P.P.S. My mom just returned home with a Mini Cooper (her car died yesterday on the freeway) and apparently itisformewhenIgetmylicenseomgyayhuzzahthisisthebest.

Emmenez-Moi Au Bout De La Terre

January 23, 2010

Dear readers,

This morning was the first time I took the SAT and Mother Nature had real impeccable timing. That is all I will say. Also my nose seriously stuffed up during the test and I rid myself of a ton of mucus. I had a wonderful morning.

Until I took some painkillers after, and after a six hour high, wanted to take more just so I could feel that happy forever. Yes, it scares me too. But I’ll be fine.

Now I’m watching “Confessions of a Shopaholic” and feeling very hormonal and brainless. Wish me luck with finals this week.

Love,
Katherine

P.S. I dreamed last night that Ulysses S. Grant invaded our school and under the ruse of “putting on a carnival” got everyone onto a round thing that ended up being a ferris wheel/roller coaster gone evil and killed everyone. Too much APUSH? I agree.